Remember James Lipton at the end of “Inside The Actors Studio”…?

There was a wonderful program hosted by James Lipton called “Inside The Actors Studio” which aired for many years on the Bravo cable television network. Mr. Lipton sat on one side of a simple desk with some notecards, giving students a brief outline of that episode’s guest and their more notable/memorable achievements in acting, directing, writing, or a combination of any or all of those disciplines. The guest would then come onto the stage, acknowledge the generally thunderous applause and ovation, then take their place on the other side of the desk and answer Mr. Lipton’s insightful, probing, sometimes funny, questions, ranging from their origins to their education to their rise to fame.

At the end of Mr. Lipton’s questions, he always closed the interview with a list of questions based on a list by French TV personality Bernard Pivot based on a list by Proust.

I will admit to indulging my own fantasies about being on the show and having James Lipton ask me these questions because, I think, on some level, we all crave to be known, to be understood. My answers to some of the above questions are easy; some are impossible to narrow down to one thing. What turns me off is easy: stress. What profession other than my own would I like to attempt is also easy: writer. What profession would I NOT like to do is easy, and very specific: the person who cleans out porta-potties. No thanks, not for me. My favorite curse word is actually a phrase that was created as a team effort with my friend Richie. (You can message me for that one, thanks).

In a deep text exchange with another friend whose brain works on a deeper level than most of the humans in my life, he posed the following question:

I don’t think anyone had ever asked me something like that before; most of the people who think they know me, don’t…and sadly, many of them don’t care to. The answer to the question about my proudest achievement is hard to narrow down. I have experienced many moments that I am grateful for; things I have witnessed that had nothing even to do with me, but I am proud to have been there; conversations where I have made people laugh who are WAY funnier than I am.

But I was raised not to be proud. In fact, in many ways I was raised to be ashamed. So to be proud of some achievement of my own is pretty unthinkable. I just give thanks.

The last question in the Pivot survey, and the way many people answer it, is often the most telling. “If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the pearly gates?” I do believe Heaven exists. What would I like to hear God say when I get there?

“Welcome home, my child. I understand and I love you anyway. You’re safe now.”